Hunting in Michigan
Posted by roadpoet on July 9, 2009
Knowing nothing about hunting, I decided to join my hunting friends on a 3 day excursion in the great Michigan outdoors and learn just why people like to kill unarmed animals. Oh joy! what fun ensues, I’m sure!
HUNTING TRIP DAY #1: LOADED FOR SNIPE!
Two hours into the darkening forest, I finally realize that perhaps I’ve been the butt of someone’s overactive imagination. Crawling through foliage with my appointed snipe weapon – a brown paper grocery bag, I notice that my friends have all disappeared from this hunting excursion. Another hour of walking around in circles, feeling my way back to the campsite – I arrive among welcome laughter! No worries – 2 more days of hunting, and I’m sure they’ll be better than this…
HUNTING TRIP DAY #2: Michigan’s Sasquatch!
Ok, I know all about this one! I’ve followed stories for the past twenty years about hunters, hikers, and the like spotting an unknown animal in these woods. Last fall Edwin Faltrip, a 72 year old farmer from around these parts, snapped a photo of this creature. It doesn’t stand upright like the other Sasquatch, and it looks to me like a morbidly obese muskrat, but no one knows for sure what it is. Standing nearly four feet tall when on all fours, it’s always been spotted eating pumpkins. So last winter my friends, in their infinite wisdom, froze nearly 400 pumpkins. And now our plan is to create a massive pumpkin dump that supposedly this ‘thing’ won’t be able to stay away from. So today we spent seven hours carrying and arranging a pumpkin trap. And then we slept! So two days in the woods and no dead animals. Perhaps tomorrow is the day!
HUNTING TRIP DAY #3: Jackalopes and snares!
Today I learned how to set snares, well I watched Willy set his snares while mine all became twisted around my arms, legs, and once I even trapped my left ear…don’t ask. After all the snares were set, we hid in the brush for a looooooooong time. We saw several jack rabbits dance, duck, and dive right around the snares. Supposedly, Willy says, the jackalope’s antlers will deceive him as he tries the same moves, and whammo! we’ll have him. Waiting for something to happen today, I felt like I was in a roadrunner cartoon. At one point I began to get paranoid of an acme anvil above my head, but it never dropped! at dusk we gave up and went to make s’mores. Hunting seems a lot like waiting. I don’t get the whole enjoyment part. Anyway tomorrow we go home!!!
