So I’ve been lying low ‘off the grid’ for a few days. There’s a group of church folk chasing me, because I sort of outed them on their local news.
So here’s what happened: I was spooning up the sloppiest breakfast burrito I’ve ever had, at this jaundice-colored roadside gas station/eatery. Between glasses of chocolate milk I overheard some locals talking about a snake ceremony at their church that evening. Yep, curiosity was picqued.
I lolly-gagged, waiting for them to leave so I could ask the gas pump attendant/waitress for directions to the church. She said they’re not keen on visitors at that church, but if I get there early and sit quietly in the back, I should be okay.
So I did. And they did (the snake act that is). It was pretty surreal and I was pretty far away, but they definitely had snakes. It was quiet enough to hear them rattling too.
After watching two grown men dance deadly snakes around their hands for ten minutes, I snuck out the back. I have a real fear of deadly snakes.
When I left the church, the local news was in the parking lot and they asked me a few questions about the snake handling. No problem right? Wrong!
As I watched myself on the evening news that night, I learned that the church had previous violations and clashes with the law, and apparently they were harboring the man who brought the snakes. I guess he went from city to city, state to state, bringing the snakes to that church sect. On the news they said the man is wanted on three counts of assault and one count of attempted murder.
The very next morning, after refueling the van, a few of the churchgoers spotted me and had some not so nice words to say about what they would do to me if they ever saw me again. So I high-tailed it out of dodge and went driving for the tall weeds.
peace.
