Driving for days without destinations has indeed created a sense of anxiety. I find myself turning the radio on, then off. On, then off. On, then off. My fingers tap more, my legs twitch more, and my temper is less tempered than usual. I say all of that to introduce a possible destination: Iowa City, Iowa.
I’ve never been inside the Iowa state lines, even so I do have a relationship with Iowa City. It began as a child. Sundays all of the young boys huddled around the floor TV unit at our grandparent’s house. Afterall it was football time. Picture mid 70’s to early 80’s. My cousin was a huge Cowboys fan, and I a Steelers fan (of course above and beyond we loved the Lions).
One particular Sunday only a few of us watching, I was rooting for the Steelers, when one of the elders made note that in fact we weren’t watching the Steelers – we were watching The Iowa Hawkeyes. So it goes. I became a Hawkeye fan that day. Throughout High School I began watching and rooting for the Hawkeyes football and basketball teams (Go B. J. Armstrong). Deep in my closet I still have the Hawkeyes basketball jersey I used to wear to open gym pick up games at the SAC at Western Michigan University while an undergrad.
And then there was more: In community college (backing up a bit) I took a poetry class where I fell in love with the endless possibilities of dead leaves scratching conversation on concrete walkways. I began researching writing programs and found the University of Iowa at the top of the list.
It took many years to patch the quilt of my life titled ‘lacking.’ I lacked the maturity necessary and took my educational process for granted. I lacked the discipline to put forth the necessary effort to cultivate any love and talent that existed. I lacked the tenacity to go after what I wanted. I lacked the humility to admit that I may not know all that I think I know. I lacked many things necessary to moved closer to Iowa City.
I set aside writing for nearly ten years as I allowed life to bend me like a reed in it’s current. I set aside life for want of understanding. Today I retire the need to understand and commence to live. I feel more like myself today. So now I am re-entering (or perhaps really entering for the first time) the world of writing, and again I find myself drawn to the currently dampened Iowa City.
peace
